Latinos are very “attached” when it comes to breakups.
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This is the opinion of Italian psychologist Walter Riso, a scholar on the subject of love, with 30 years of experience and around 25 books published on the subject, who explained his theory to the ANSA agency.
“Latin Americans are more emotional, passionate, they consume soap operas, they have much more idealized ideas of love. In Latin America, in relation to love, we are still in modernity, we are not in post-modernity, which means a love that is freer, more reciprocal, more autonomous, with less attachment and more independent”, stated Riso.
The expert, who lives in Barcelona, Spain, and knows Latin America in depth, has just released a new book with love and detachment at the center of the discussion. “Ya te Dije Adiós, Ahora Cómo te Olvido” (“I Have Said Goodbye to You, Now How I Forget You”) is the title of the most recent work by the Neapolitan psychologist who, in his editorial, describes it as “a 'vade mecum' to overcome the end of love and emotional losses.”
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Based on his vast experience, Riso concludes in his book that the breakup of a romantic relationship does not require one to forget the other person, but rather to remember him/her with affection, but “without having the associated feeling”.
“It is necessary to separate physical combat from psychological or emotional combat.
In the first there are several stages, but the basics and the clearest difference [between the two] is that in physical combat there is no hope of returning with a person. In terms of affect, the person is still 'alive' and a variable appears: hope, which is not always good”, explained the academic.
Riso also stated that there are at least seven stages between the end of a relationship or a romantic separation and overcoming the struggle. “We found seven stages: stunning and denial, longing and hope, unanswered questions, anger and indignation, guilt, hopelessness and depression and recovery and acceptance”, described the Italian expert, who recalled that problems arise when someone gets stuck in one of these moments and that professional help is necessary.
The author also said that the stereotypes that are still cultivated in Latin America about men and women on a sentimental level are elements that generate tension and contribute to the maintenance of anachronisms.
“Here, if a woman who does not marry [until] the age of 28 is considered a spinster, while in other places in the world, being single is not associated with the idea of having bad luck, but rather with an option. And a single man from Latin America at 40 is considered [something] strange,” said Riso.
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