1. You were born screaming and will continue the rest of your life, after all in a Italian family you are unable to use a tone normal to the human ear.
2. And just as you learn to speak with your mouth, you learn to speak with your hand.
3. As if talking loudly and gesturing wildly weren't enough, everyone laughs very loudly.
4. Plus, you've gotten used to a monstrous amount of swearing.
5. Even though I was confused by the fact that the same people who have such dirty mouths are so religious.
6. Which means that every meal is accompanied by a prayer.
7. And also after a speech filled with wine and beer.
8. And all of this in continental proportions, considering that an Italian family is always made up of 345 uncles and 19.387.129.380 cousins.
9. You no longer try to identify what is a fight, what is a conversation and what is a game, because it all seems the same.
10. You completely understand the meaning of being “pissed off by so much talk.”
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11. Absolutely EVERYTHING is a big drama and everyone gets involved in everyone else's business.
12. And no matter how Italian it is, there will always be some mixture to some degree with Spain, Lebanon or some other nationality, after all we are in Brazil.
13. What causes dialects to be created and you never know where the typical dish you are eating is from.
14. You have already suffered a lot bullying Why do you call steak à la rolé “brachola".
15. And despite the constant pasta and wine, there is always a soup (which is actually a typical Spanish dish) or a feijoada at one of the family gatherings.
16. However, no matter what the main dish is, it will ALWAYS be a caponata with a starter roll.
17. If you are from an older family, you don't have a grandfather and grandmother — you have grandpa e nonna.
18. And the nonna She NEVER sits down to eat, in fact you don't understand how she can stand for so long.
19. No matter your weight, you will always be “too skinny” for her.
20. And regardless of your age, there will probably be someone squeezing some part of your body, especially your cheeks.
21. And if you're a boy, you'll always get a slap on the back when you go to greet your uncles.
22. Everything ALMOST ends with a cup of coffee.
23. But it's only almost because you have a little eyelash after coffee.
24. This little eyelash allows you to be ready to eat more later.
25. And all this completely ignoring “the plural everything”, like a good Italian.
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By Iran Giusti and Rafael Capanema/BuzzFeed
